01/07/17

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Some people go to college and everything clicks instantly. They love their dorm, they easily make a bunch of new friends, and they thrive in their new environment. 

 

Unfortunately, this is not the case for everyone. 

 

Toward the end of my first semester, I was secretly contemplating not coming back to Ann Arbor for second semester. After almost four months of being here, I still didn’t feel like I belonged here. 

 

I knew some of the girls in my sorority, but I wasn’t part of a “squad” that had their own group chat. I hadn’t made a ton of guy friends because I came into college with a jealous boyfriend who was still in high school. It was nearly impossible to meet and stay in contact with people from my 300 person lecture courses. I just didn’t know what to do. 

 

While I was home for Thanksgiving break, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me. Not in person like a mature adult, but by text. THE DAY AFTER WE HUNG OUT. Suddenly, everything became clear.

 

He was holding me back. He didn’t break up with me like a mature adult because he wasn’t one. We were living in very different environments, and I was trying not to make him hyper-aware of that. Living my life according to his terms was dragging me down. 

 

It was still upsetting — losing anything that has been a constant in your life for that long usually is. The next couple of days I experienced quite the roller coaster of emotions. I was free to dive in and explore campus more, but that also meant that I would have to confront my crippling social anxiety. 

 

The abandonment that I experienced by my “friends” in high school left me doubtful. How do I know if somebody actually likes me? Why should I trust them? 

 

I normally love my birthday, but freshman year was different. I wasn’t excited, so my sister invited me to her house for dinner and a wine night. I walked into the dark house, flipped on the lights, and was greeted with a loud, “SURPRISE!!!!!”

 

My sister knew that I was struggling to make friends within my pledge class, so she made it a little easier on me. She invited every single one of them and picked them all up from their dorms. People were wishing me a happy birthday and telling stories about the first time they met me. I didn’t even know that that many of them knew my name.

 

I was wrong. People did want to get to know me. I was the one that was being closed-minded.

 

After this, I made a point to talk to one new person in my pledge class every day. Whether it was eating lunch at the house, meeting up with a group of people that had a table in the library, or getting late night food in the union. I met new people every day. Amazing people. Kind people. Funny people. Inspiring people. 

 

I was actually sad when I had to go home for Christmas break. 

 

After the break, a group of girls invited anyone from our pledge class to join them for a wine night in one of their dorm rooms. Sorry UM-DPSS! 

 

To this day, that is one of the best nights of college that I have ever had. The seven of us that showed up were bonded by this night. It was like a hallmark movie. We drank wine, ordered pizza, danced to obnoxious music, laughed, and cried. 

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I met a lot of amazing girls by this point, but I knew that I had finally found my people. 

 

Fast forward to today, and we’ve had hundreds of nights like that one from freshman year. We’ve lived together every year of college, we have a group chat where we pretty much keep in constant contact, and we always take care of each other. 

 

They’re my best friends, my sisters, the best people that I know.

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I will forever be thankful for their friendship.